The Butler, Griping

With Frankenstorm fast approaching, or slow approaching (I don’t really understand everything they’re saying on the weather channel) I ought to get this Halloween special going. I mean, I’m going to survive… probably… hopefully… but I don’t know what Frankenstorm will do to the weather.

Plus, campus is closed so it’s not like I need to go to class.

Cobalt: Ha ha! With my newfound magical powers, I’ll make them rue the day they didn’t make me heiress of the legacy!

Sabrina: You don’t know what I had to do to get you those powers. The game is dead set against imaginary friends becoming witches or werewolves or whatever.

Cobalt: Did I ask you to speak, demon butler? I order you to go greet my party guests.

Sabrina: …yes mistress.

Sabrina: And then… your soul.

Cobalt: What was that?

Sabrina: Nothing at all, mistress.

Ellie: Sabrina! You look a little paler. Are you still a vegetarian?

Sabrina: Yes.

Vegetarians are allowed to feast upon souls because they are technically not meat. I think that’s what tofu is made of, actually.

Ellie: It’s great that you’re a vegetarian, but maybe you should get a little more protein in your diet?

Ellie is dressed as Amy Pond for Halloween. And she doesn’t want to let me drink her blood. 😦

The next guests to arrive are Manganese and Doris, dressed as a knight and a flapper.

Doris: Maybe if I suck up to her I can have lots of babies running around!

Doris became a werewolf to see if there would be a wardrobe malfunction. She didn’t even have the decency to turn red, but instead changed her makeup and hair.


Still scary enough to make us piss ourselves, though.

This is what has become of my life. o_o


Doris: Holy shiz, Manganese help me!

Manganese: This is a really nice house.

It came with the Supernatural town. I kicked out the Cullen wannabes.

I feel like the Supernatural town would’ve been named Knives or something if they could’ve gotten away with it.

Sabrina: I’m watching you. *waggles fingers*

Best intimidate action ever.

Next come Nickel, dressed as a princess, and Casper in a fairy costume. Wait…

You can’t dress as a fairy by becoming a fairy!

Casper: I can fly!

And no one paid attention. Ever.

Sabrina: Miss Mendeleev will be with you shortly.

Manganese: Why are you working for her if you run the legacy?

Sabrina: Hush.

Ellie: My beautiful scientific legacy has been tainted. 😦

Sabrina: It’s not so bad… Casper isn’t really a fairy, at least.

Cobalt: Hello, everyone. Yes, I am a witch. I’m at level ten of all my witch skills!

Sabrina: Only because of Master Controller…

Cobalt: Shut up, butler. As I was saying, I would like to welcome you all to my home.

Sabrina: As of yesterday.

Cobalt: Quiet! No one can prove what happened to the Van Goulds! There are no bodies!

Cobalt: For Halloween, I thought I would honor the founder of our dear legacy. So I combined our her passion for science and my passion for murder. Meaning I want to find out if you can kill a ghost, and this is for purely scientific reasons and not for revenge.

Sabrina: Right.

Cobalt: Nickel, get up here.

Nickel: Is this because I was voted heir, and everyone was just pretty disappointed that you were alive?

Cobalt: AVADA KEDAVRA! I mean… fire ball!

Ghosts apparently cannot catch on fire no matter how you may force it, and she went straight to singed.

Cobalt: That was less satisfying than I thought it would be.

Cobalt went between fire and ice blasts for a while, with nothing much happening.

Cobalt: Why won’t you die? 😦

Sabrina: Mistress, I believe it’s time for dinner. And by that I mean you’re embarrassing yourself.

And so the guests were left to amuse themselves while I fixed dinner.

Doris: I just want to have another child, Casper; it’s nothing against you…


Ellie consoled herself with chess.

Ellie: That wasn’t even a real experiment; there wasn’t any control group… *grumble grumble*

And then dinner was served.

Manganese: This is a really nice house, Cobalt. *shoves face in Ellie’s food*

Ellie: I can’t sit down!

She’s been dead so long she’s a bit out of practice.

Casper: So I heard you have an indoor pool here?

Funny you should mention the pool…


To be continued.


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