The Impossible Debate

It’s the last chapter before Vanadium takes over for the next generation. It’s kind of exciting for me to see how far the family has gotten already.

Kay: HELP.

How did that even happen?

Kay: I don’t know!

Phosphorus decided to throw a birthday party for Calcium, who seems to be her favorite child. Calcium’s the only one she’s visited, at least. Anyway, the party will be held after the kids get home from school.

Also Phosphorus and Merlot wanted to get out of the house for a bit, so they go on a date.

Phosphorus: I just noticed my husband has the same hair as one of my ancestors haunting the house.

Is that a problem?

Phosphorus: It could get confusing after he dies.

While Merlot is eating an invisible onion, he spies two repair townies on a date as well. I think they work at the theater, actually.

Phosphorus: Merlot! Get OVER here! No one but NO ONE out-lovey-doveys ME.

Phosphorus: Merlot sweetie moon of my life, these flowers are for you. They are fake flowers, representing our love which is eternal, and also they won’t wilt because of your nasty onion breath.

Nadine: And I have flowers for YOU.

…

Phosphorus: WELL.

Merlot: I didn’t bring any flowers. ;-;

Phosphorus: D:<

I’m not getting into a flower-passing-contest with the townies.

It’s just about time for the after school activities of the kids to start, and Scandium has ALSO gotten the opportunity to run for president.

Vanadium: And I have the topic for my news article! Brother against sister! Drama!

After the debate:

Scandium: I won!

Titanium: But… they said that I won…

Vanadium: I won! This is the most dramatic presidential race since the cheerleader fiasco of ’96! The newspaper editor loved my coverage of it!

Now it’s time for Calcium’s birthday party. Hopefully, Scandium and Titanium will not kill each other over the impossible debate results.

Calcium: Is THAT who’s heir for next generation? Standards have gone down.

Schrodinger: HAPPY BIRTHDAY *HACK HACK VOMIT*

Wonderful.

Yay! It actually worked! I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to get Calcium to the cake, and the party would be ruined.

Sulfur: Middle age looks good on you, dear! How do you keep your teeth so white?

Aw, the party’s going great!

Spoke too soon.

Calcium: Mom, there are too damn many dirty plates.

Phosphorus: Maybe if SOME PEOPLE cleaned up after themselves…

Chromium: You know, if you’re tired, you should go to bed.

Vanadium: Oh.

Flea bath for Schrodinger.

I need to make these cats stay inside.

That’s not how you cook waffles.

I feel bad for Mr. Gnome. He’s going to die soon. 😦

Potassium had a midlife crisis wish to cut or dye her hair. Since her hair could not really get any shorter, and it was already an outrageous color, she went for a shaved head.

Kay: See? I’m still young!

It’s awards night at the school.

Merlot: You’ll get your turn Chromium. It’s your birthday soon.

Phosphorus: Why couldn’t you join a useful club like Vanadium? Do you think you’re going to be President once you become an NPC? No.

Titanium: Whatever, grandma…

Phosphorus: Don’t talk to me like that.

Titanium: I’d rather die than listen to this for one more second.

Phosphorus: I can arrange that.

Time to go home.

Why is Argon at the gym? I have no idea.

Hey look! Calcium’s here!

Chromium ages up, and gains the rebellious trait. Did I go too far with it? Maybe.

His face completely doesn’t fit, though.

I love this litter box, by the way.

One less thing to worry about! And the cat poop goes out in a burst of what I’m assuming is flame!

It’s birthday time for the oldest kids!

Scandium rolls hydrophobic.

Scandium: Dammit.

I’m pretty sure Titanium rolled slob or something like that. You’ll have to wait for the makeovers because I was lazy at this point.

Finally, Vanadium is now a snob. An insane snob. It’s like Lithium all over, except this one hates the outdoors.

Vanadium: You like what you see? You should.

At this point, I would usually write down how many points we got this generation. Except everything’s gotten all screwed up with glitches and all that, so I’m just saying screw it from now on.