This chapter was so much fun to write.
It was the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring (we don’t have a mouse)
The stockings were hung by the TV with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
The child was nestled all up in her bed,
While visions of space-men danced in her head.
Aw, come on guys! It’s Christmas Eve!
Phosphorus: Just… go on with your cute little rhyming thing, okay? Me and Merlot need some time alone.
Then I’ll continue this chapter on my own.
And Chlorine was there with a crib for a bed,
With the new patch, there was no dent in the head.
“It’s Christmas! It’s Christmas! This is the BEST!”
Shouted Sulfur after her night’s rest.
Then Phosphorus chose her new wardrobe with care,
Her third costume change since becoming the heir.
One outfit in particular (the boots made it complete)
Was a surprise for Merlot, a Christmas treat.
To celebrate Christmas, Sodium was not ready,
She’d rather celebrate the Flying Monster of Spaghetti.
Instead of Noel, she thought she’d spend her
Time with the child of indeterminate gender.
On the way home, (for there was school that day)
Sulfur thought of new toys with which she would play
The panda and unicorn were both in their stations,
Unfortunately, they’re only decorations.
A new periscope, given to Sulfur
To look past the censor blur.
But the most impressive was the house in the tree!
”OMIGOSH IS THAT FOR ME???!!!”
“This tree house is awesome, but not new I fear,
For my sensors detect Mom and Dad were up here!”
It’s soon clear that a little nooboo
Is the outcome of the treehouse woohoo.
How can I tell? We all know that vom
Is the surest sign of becoming a mom.
Phosphorus finishes the book He In Purple,
And… um… the critics say it will be a durple.
“Durple? The hell? That’s not even a word!”
Accuse me of cheating? Don’t’ be absurd.
And Ellie said, when she showed up that night,
”Happy Christmas to all, and to all SCIENCE!”