Best Birthday Ever!


Binky: Sulfur, you’re in a science-type legacy, so it’s time you learn a bit of what’s expected of you.

Sulfur: ‘Kay Grampa!


Binky: Now, if you ever get in trouble for having some ‘fun time’ with someone you’re rightfully married to, you have to sue them for all they’re worth.

Sulfur: Sue!


Sodium: You can usually win when you sue them, but if the paparazzi have photographic evidence, you’re screwed. Damn paparazzi.

Sulfur: Photos! Damn!


Sodium: Let’s talk about marriage.

Sulfur: Not want!


These waffles were in the oven while Sodium was teaching Sulfur how to talk. And they’re not even burnt when she finally gets around to them.

Sodium: Mad skills, man.


This is what you would see if you were teaching Sulfur how to walk.


This is honestly the first time Phosphorus has even interacted with her daughter since giving birth to her.

Phosphorus: Come to mommy… I guess.


Sulfur: MAMA!

Phosphorus: She’s just so… happy…

Most babies are, dear.

Phosphorus: Not me. I was born grumpy.


Phosphorus: I’ve interacted with the kid. Now back to my husband.


Phosphorus: Cool, I’m going to be a mother.

You are a mother.

Phosphorus: Oh yeah.


Now it’s time for Sulfur to become a child. Maybe then Phosphorus won’t neglect her so much.

Sulfur: I wish to be adorable forever!


I want to hug her so much. Kid faces always look weird to me in the game, but she’s unique-looking! Sulfur is now clumsy.


Sulfur: Mommy I can’t wait to have a baby brother or sister and love them and play with them and we can be best friends can’t we Mommy I love you so much!!!

Phosphorus: Sure… how about I read you a story so you can fall asleep. And stop being happy at me.

Sulfur: Attention from Mommy it’s the BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!



Phosphorus: And then the beautiful white-haired lady approached the handsome purple stranger…


Phosphorus: Relax. She fell asleep before I got to the dirty bit.

That’s not the point!


Speaking of the purple stranger, he has the mixology LTW because I didn’t feel like working on charisma, and I’ve never actually done mixology.


Phosphorus: Having the baby now!

Sulfur: Baby brother or sister? BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!

Phosphorus: Go to bed, kid!


This is baby Chlorine, who’s gender will remain a mystery. Because I said so. And because the game conveniently gave her/him a white blanket.


Sulfur: Painting a picture for Chlorine! It’s a blood-splatter heart!!!

Skewed perception of what the ‘good’ trait actually means.


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