The Classiest Wedding Ever

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The first things my sims do when Nitrogen and Shing get home are synchronized pre-woohoo kisses. I feel like this should be awkward for them.

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I think I heard a lullaby. Baby Oxygen is on his or her way. Maybe Ellie or Zhan will be able to live long enough to see their great-grandkid.

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Annoyed And maybe I’ll live long enough to have an heir who doesn’t think of gardening whenever they woohoo. Seriously, I’ll take anything at this point. Fishing. Painting. I would be happy if I had to write football references for woohoo, and I know nothing about football. I refuse to believe all of my sims are botaniphiliacs, or floraphiliacs, or whatever you would call it.

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This is my beautiful wedding set up which seriously cost all of the family’s money, but I don’t care because it’s pretty and I think I’m going to keep it for future weddings.

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Of course, Nitrogen has to invite the guests while facing the wall so I can’t get a good picture of her.

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Lithium only has one more painting to do after this. It’s pretty exciting. I like how you can tell exactly who this is a painting of before Lithium’s even done anything.

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Obligatory vomit shot.

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The first guests are Berry and Boron. Also the consignment store guy but we didn’t invite him. I actually really like having these parties because I get to see other members of the family again.

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I invited Tim, because he’ll feel bad about what he’s missing when he let Nitrogen go. Maybe he should have let her talk to him, then.

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Zo is also invited, and now I’m feeling bad because she actually grew into that nose of hers. She’s pretty good-looking now, in my opinion. Not like a model or anything, but she’s not hideous.

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Boron jumps on the trampoline rather than caring about her baby sister getting married.

Boron: I believe I can flyyy!

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Mulan can only think about herself on a day when everyone should be thinking of Nitrogen and Shing.

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Well, most of the guests are thinking badly about Nitrogen, but it still counts as paying attention to the bride.

Zo: BOO, Nitrogen! She invited me over once and went to sleep!

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The rest of the family is here, too.

Hydrogen: Open-mouthed smile

I love Hydrogen.

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People at the party kept being jerks to Nitrogen for no good reason.

Helium: BOO! I deserved to be heir.

Stop being a jerkface, Helium.

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I’m not ‘savvy’ or anything, but I believe this is a BANNED4LYFE?

Blaise pretends to disapprove of Boron’s low-cut shirt, but her real motives are all too clear.

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Shing: Well, she is sporting a pretty low neckline.

Nitrogen: Hey. Eyes on the bride, mister.

Short wedding picture spam!

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As if the wedding couldn’t get classier, I heard the woohoo music while this was happening. I couldn’t find the source of the music, but I know I heard it.

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Then the guests started to pee themselves. One right after another. I think Blaise might have been the first, then Theo, then Boron.

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Boron: This is an awesome party.

…You just wet yourself.

Boron: Yeah, I end up peeing myself at most of the really great parties.

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Lithium wets herself, too, but she tries to hide it by going in the corner.

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The party even wins the Berry seal of approval, although when she leaves I get a message that she thought the party was totally lame. I think she’s just trying to keep up her image.

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Both of Nitrogen’s parents ended up wetting themselves at the wedding. I think they were marking their territory, letting everyone know that they are the alpha wolves of the family. Nitrogen and Shing are merely betas.

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Zo seems to be the Traci Hart of Twinbrook, because she was standing in a puddle of piddle clapping long after everyone else left.

Hydrogen: Do you think she’s stuck there?

Helium: I don’t know, but she’s kind of a freak.

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This is how we mop the floor, mop the floor, mop the floor,
By sticking ourselves through the door,
So early in the legacy!

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Nitrogen: My hands say that my wedding sucked and I shouldn’t be the legacy heiress!

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Nitrogen: No! Hands! Stop!

I hope she doesn’t die, because she has no heirs and none of the spares are in the house anymore. Although I guess Lithium could have another baby since she’s not an elder.

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Aw, they make such an adorable couple. I love the couples in this legacy. I’ve had other games where I absolutely hated my spouses, but these spouses are great.

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In other news, Lithium finished the portrait of Nitrogen and it ended up being her first masterpiece.

Nitrogen: Of course it’s a masterpiece. It’s a painting of me.

I almost forgot about her snob trait.

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The letters aren’t up because the game has trouble saving them for some reason. If I put one of the letters up it takes forever. But I’m pretty happy with the family museum, anyway. Just one more painting and we’re done!

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Shing: That wasn’t exactly the wedding I’d expected.

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Nitrogen: Yeah, I don’t care. I’m tired.

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And pregnant!

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Zo wasn’t stuck in the yard, thankfully, and she manages to leave at around three in the morning. The party started at one in the afternoon. She’s definitely Twinbrook’s Traci Heart.

Next time, Baby Oxygen!

Update:

Mulan is going through men like I go through tissues in allergy season. I’m giving up on keeping track. I will give an update if she actually marries one of them or gets pregnant.

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I’m keeping track of Lorie, and now she’s a teen. She definitely takes after her mother. She’s a klepto, and she’s got a part time job at the  bookstore.

Lorie: I have to do what I can, since Mom spends all her money at the bar.

Lorie is already doing the date-and-drop, just like her mother.

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