Lithium’s been crowned our heiress, so Hydrogen moved out once he painted his portrait. The family still needs a portrait for Helium and Lithium when they grow up, so Lithium’s started practicing.
It looks like a blood splatter.
Jamar: I approve.
When she’s not painting, Lithium is doing cute stuff like this. But what kind of kid puts on a helmet and goggles to pretend drive a couch?
Lithium: The kind that jumps the couch over the Grand Canyon!
Zhan asks Ellie out on a date. I thought it would be like scheduling a date and choosing a place to go, but the date starts as soon as it’s proposed.
So they head out for their date in the police cruiser.
Zhan gives Ellie flowers as soon as they arrive.
Ellie: Flowers! They remind me of gardening!
The two of them are rolling woohoo wants even if they’re in public and just had shower woohoo an hour ago, which I didn’t take a picture of because shower woohoo without the censor is just… disturbing.
I checked for purely scientific reasons. PURELY SCIENTIFIC.
Guys… there are children here! Children with floating hair! I need to change that hair at some point.
Zhan: Wait, that little girl’s hair reminded me. I need to do something first.
This is Zhan’s midlife crisis outfit.
Zhan: I’m still young.
Not fooling anyone.
Poor children playing on the playground will be scarred for life. I hope they cleaned up after themselves.
They hang out on the teeter-totter afterwards.
Ellie: I wonder what the kids are doing?
Helium takes the chance to booby trap just about everything in the house.
Lithium: I can see you, you know.
Helium: You’d better not tell Mom and Dad, or else!
Lithium: One vote.
As soon as the parents get home from their date…
Ellie: Cold! Cold! Wet and cold!
Ellie: Okay. No one saw that. Just act natural.
Helium succeeds in both pranking and chemist…ing. It’s called Liquid Horror or something like that.
Helium: Sounds innocent enough. Bottoms up.
He got a terrified moodlet for eight hours.
LITHIUM. WHAT ARE YOU DOING.
Lithium: Going to the bus stop.
But…you were already halfway to school! I can’t cancel the interaction!
Lithium: Darnit, I missed the bus. I guess I’ll just have to ride my bike to school.
That’s what you were doing already!
Lithium has her birthday, and doesn’t get a party because I’m still angry with her for the bus thing.
Lithium: How much longer do I have to be excited?
I don’t know, but the rest of her family already went to bed. That’s how long it took.
Lithium I’m a perfectionist now, because if I can be perfect, why shouldn’t everything else be perfect too?
Lithium… you’re so pretty… Call my simself when you’re YA. I mean… *ahem*
Look at the trophy! Lithium won the best ballet dancer award despite never actually showing up for her after-school ballet class. She’s so awesome.
Lithium: Yes. Yes I am.
Actually, it’s kind of funny that the kids are winning awards despite not actually doing anything. First prom king, now this. Not that I’m complaining.
Since Lithium isn’t childish, Jamar is kicked to the curb.
Jamar: Until next generation, that is. *evil laugh*
Lithium: Hey, Mom. You kind of missed the birthday of your most important child ever. Which is me.
Ellie: That’s nice sweetie. How do you feel about boarding school? Boarding school would be a great educational opportunity for a legacy heiress. You’re going to the School of Peace and Love, because your father and I thought it would help mellow you out and make you more humble.
Lithium: What the hell, woman? I’m too good for boarding school.
I took this picture because Lithium is the most beautiful thing to grace this planet and you can’t tell me otherwise.
After school, Theo comes straight over to the Mendeleev household, at Lithium’s request.
Lithium: Do you wanna be boyfriend and girlfriend?
Lithium: ‘Kay. I’m going away tomorrow morning for boarding school and if you so much as breathe in the direction of another girl I’m going to make you eat your own heart. I will be checking your romantic history when you join the household. Love you.
Jamar: I raised this one well.
Zhan: Hello Theodore, can we have a little talk? See, my daughter is the sunshine of my life, and I don’t want her to get hurt… Just remember that I am a policeman and I do have a taser, and everything will be fine.
Theodore tries to leave because it’s getting really late.
Zhan: I’m not done with you yet.
The law enforcement career is great for overprotective dads. Theodore is adventurous genius and easily impressed light sleeper.
Might as well write a report on him and get the job performance.
Zhan: If seen interacting romantically with any girl other than Lithium Mendeleev, use any force necessary to take him down. Actually, also take him down if he touches her anywhere beyond holding hands or if he looks at any part of her body other than her face.
Lithium: Mr. Taxi driver, take me to hippie prison!
Suck it up, Lithium. I need (want) to test it out and Helium doesn’t have enough time to do so before he becomes a young adult. I plan on inviting Lithium home whenever possible and I’m probably going to bring her home and send her to public school after a few days. It’s not like I’m sending her away forever.
She’s too pretty to send away…
When Lithium is gone, Theo still shows up at the house, tired and stinking.
Theo: I shall stand here until my beloved Lithium comes home.
Next time, we learn about the exciting world of boarding school (actually it was boring and Lithium comes back after one day) and meet the first Mendeleev born outside of the active household.