Calcium: Look at the pool Mom got!

Merlot got an opportunity to earn $1000 moonlighting at bars, so I guess it’s time to start doing that. Mr. Private Eye was at the bar when Sulfur and Chlorine were there, too. I don’t know if he ever left or not.

Ice is also there, apparently an adult. And in a kilt.

Ice: I think kissing Sulfur got me pregnant, even though she was using lip-gloss.

So so glad that Kay’s the heiress and I don’t have to deal with the guy.

While Merlot is moonlighting at the bar, a mysterious woman shows up.

Just kidding, it’s Phosphorus.

Merlot: You came to support me!

Phosphorus: I came to get alcohol.

Meanwhile at the house, Kay is working hard at an early age to keep the line of alcoholic Mendeleevs going.

She was hungry, and the first thing she goes for is the drinks on the bar.

Merlot: Did I do anything wrong raising my kids? …Nah.

Free vacation for the adults!

Phosphorus: I feel like I’m forgetting something.

Talking to Kay about her snubbing Argon?

Phosphorus: It can wait until after I’m back. I’m sure nothing life-threatening will happen when we’re on vacation.

This picture was taken because

1) I’m pretty sure none of the adults who go into the school building are actually teachers and

2) GAH! KAY. THAT FACE.

Dog: I wanna come home with you!!!

Calcium: Kay! Wanna come swimming with me?

Kay: Sure. You might not have had your swimwear customized, but I did and I’m a work of art!

Calcium: Bye…

Kay: Wait… where are you going?

Kay: Damn. I should’ve known to never trust a pool!

Calcium: I’m going to go on a joyride with a chair and be adorable!

Argon: Are you going to ask me to save you?

Kay: I don’t need you!

Later:

Kay: Um… Argon?

Argon: Doing homework.

Kay: Even though I’m not waving around or anything, I’m for real drowning right now. So can you save me?

Argon: If I get double heirship with you and you stop snubbing me.

Kay: Not agreeing to that!

…

Kay: Fine.

Sulfur: How was your day?

Kay: I almost died today.

Calcium: What’s that, Cal? Cal says now I’m heiress for sure.

Or not.

Calcium:You’re alive?

Calcium: I have to go see what Cal says about this.

So… yeah. Here’s our second heiress fixing the shower in an evening gown.

Calcium: I could have sworn the pool would have done her in! It was foolproof!

Chlorine: It’s past your bedtime…

All of the ghosts love the cowplant.

Ellie: It’s better than the slip’n’slide!

If anyone’s wondering why Ellie’s so white, it’s because she was using a custom skintone when she was alive and I deleted almost all of my CC to help my game run more smoothly.

The next day, Calcium goes on a mysterious field trip by herself to the science facility…

This isn’t supposed to be a plot thing or anything. She seriously went on a field trip to the science facility by herself about an hour before school let out.

It’s gotten to the point that I look at the cowplant when I ‘m trying to find the ghost on the lot.

Guys, Kay is our heiress! (Woo!)

Calcium was second, and the other kids were left behind in the dust.

Of course it would be the one whose future isn’t planned out. All of them have something to pursue except for Kay.

Kay: Um… what about a part-time job?

That’s a start, I guess.

Kay also had a wish to learn how to drive, so out we went in the police cruiser.

Kay: Well, I noticed how much Mom and Dad drink and figured someone needs to be fit to drive in this family.

She was going, like, 5 miles an hour.

How. How do you rear end someone when you’re driving that slow?

Merlot had his full adult birthday while he was teaching Kay how to drive. Oops.

Hey Cal… and Cal.

Calcium: I’m pretty surprised that I’m not heiress. But Cal says that second place means I’m heiress if something… unfortunate… were to befall my sister. I want to see a ghost.

Merlot: *wishes for 10 kids*

NO.

Anyway, the ghosts are being ghostly. I have no idea where Shing got a swordfish.

Calcium: Did I miss it? I heard there was a ghost with the cowplant… oh. I was hoping for a different ghost.

A ghost of a more sisterly persuasion, I would imagine.

But Kay was off doing this.

It’s the first autonomous prank I’ve seen in a while. I think the last one was back when Lithium was getting ready to take over. Ah, memories.

Not much to say about this.

Except I didn’t tell Phosphorus to use the computer. I just waited until someone did it autonomously.

Kay: I found a boy at school. His name is Bob Summers.

No.

Kay: But…

No. That’s my brother’s name. Find someone else.

After school, Kay started snubbing her twin.

Kay: Don’t talk to me at school. Or ever. You’re insane and you dress funny all the time.

Argon: Let me guess. You’re going to talk smack about me wearing my swimwear too.

Chlorine: Cake…

Argon: (now wearing a dress) At least Calcium is still talking to me. You want to travel around the world, right?

Calcium: Yeah, sure. I heard you and Kay got in a fight.

Calcium: Let’s kill her.

Kay: I leave them alone for ten minutes and they plot a murder. Typical.

Intense face is intense.

Argon: Well. I could sit here while you do your homework, but I’m done. So I guess I’m leaving now.

Argon: I’m going to play the arcade games. See, I can snub you, too.

Kay: No you can’t, you weirdo. It’s kind of a one-way thing.

Kay: Dammit. Argon usually helps me with math.

Calcium: Kay, would you read me a bedtime story?

Kay: It’s midnight on a school night, you can’t use the moodlet manager, and I’m doing homework. Can’t you go to bed without a story.

Sodium! SODIUM! I got Skyrim!

Sodium: . Now tell me more once I finish beating this giant.

I knew she’d be happy for me.

Kay: So now Argon’s seen the ghost and has fainted in her prom gown. The creep.

Kay, don’t talk about your sister that way…

Actually, that is a little creepy.

Argon: Kay doesn’t like me anymore, and it’s your fault, fridge!

*poke poke*

Argon: Wait, I’ll talk to Mom! She’ll know what to do! She knows everything!

Argon: I’m still mad at you, though. *poke*

Argon: Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom. Mom!

Phosphorus: What.

Argon: KAY’S BEING MEAN. MAKE HER STOP.

*One explanation later.*

Phosphorus: Honey, I had no idea Kay was treating you like that. I’ll speak with her after school.

You mean… actually be a decent parent?

Phosphorus: I’m a GREAT parent to all FOUR of my kids!

You have five.

And finally, I have proof that the adults they send on field trips aren’t actually teachers. Because this guy is a cop and I don’t think those are two occupations you can juggle at once.

Anyway: *le gasp* Are we going to have a plot? Maybe? Even a little one?

And it’s also, like,  the day I become a legal adult. But whatever.

(For the record, I don’t live in New Zealand.)

So I got myself a birthday present, in the form of a cowplant. I never had one in Sims 2 or anything, mostly because I suck at Sims 2 and all of my people end up starving to death. It’s sort of embarrassing.

I also got myself this because there was leftover simpoints. It doesn’t seem to be working.

Calcium: Get me OUT of this.

Phosphorus, please don’t die.

She doesn’t. Anyway, it’s about time for Calcium to become a child and we can FINALLY be done with diapers for a while.

Calcium is now adventurous, and she shows off one of the hairs I got from the Sims Store.

I love me some autonomous romantic interactions.

And you were doing so well, guys! D:

Still better than the couples in any of my other games, at least.

As was brought up in the last chapter, there was to be a slumber party thrown by the kids, so I decided to let the teens go on dates. Then the house wouldn’t be so full and they could all have fun.

Sulfur and Chlorine went to a dive bar, but a private investigator was there. :/

PI: I heard they were serving alcoholic drinks to minors here, and I’m going to investigate.

Meanwhile, the slumber party is underway. I think this kid’s name is Cola or Pop or something. I don’t know. I know most of the sims I placed in town are Berry sims, though.

He’s the only guest, by the way.

Unless you count the teenager who showed up. My guess is that he was a kid when the phone call was made, but then he had a birthday.

I don’t know if I should be worried about Kay pillow-fighting with him.

Argon and this kid also have pillow fights.

Meanwhile, Sullfur manages to kiss Ice for real, not just the game telling me that she kissed him.

Chlorine is not so lucky.

Ice: Sorry, but I didn’t bring my lip gloss and I don’t want a baby when I’m still in high school.

Oh. My. FSM. These Frosty kids are getting on my nerves.

Cola/Coke/Pepsi: Your party sucks.

Then he ran off into the night. Hated the party so much that he couldn’t bear to sleep in the same house.

Chlorine: And Snow said she was leaving because I have ‘problems’. I’m not the one who considers talking to someone of the opposite sex as ‘third base’.

The weird teenaged dude feeds the cowplant, but doesn’t die.

Ellie: Oh! This must be one of my descendants! How are you doing?

Argon: *faints*

The twins decide to have a rematch at hopscotch.

These kids are seriously good at hopscotch, since neither of them ever gets it wrong. I think the game decides who wins the match arbitrarily, in their case.

Argon won, by the way..

Calcium makes me happy because she managed to get to the right bed for her bedtime story. Kids always seem to pick random beds that aren’t their own.

Phosphorus makes me happy because the book she’s reading is child-appropriate.

Argon and Kay also do chess together.

Kay: Let’s ponder why I’m sitting on the side of the board with black pieces, but am holding a white piece.

Snow came back! I’m determined for Chlorine to kiss her.

Snow: I asked your grandfather to chaperone us!

Chlorine: What is this, the Victorian Era?

Just a comment: Why is it that whenever someone sees two sims being romantic, they automatically get person person minus? Is this just my game? Is Binky really against Chlorine and Snow dating, or do all sims have a strict ‘get a room’ policy, or what?

FINALLY. I can die happy.

Calcium: I think I want to travel the world.

Sulfur: Not if WA travel starts glitching the game, you’re not

Sulfur: I LOVE MY HAT!

Lithium is the first sim that did this that I could watch without worrying. Because she’s already dead and all.

Oh, look. Snow is still here.

She will also be in my nightmares.

Okay, so I guess it’s time for birthdays, yes?

Argon’s new trait is ambitious.

And Kay’s new trait is party animal. Which goes with disciplined… somehow…

So it’s time for an heir vote, guys! Since I have college/pit band stuff to do, I’ll probably keep it up for a while. Plus I have it on pretty good authority that I’m getting SKYRIM (!!!) for my birthday, so you can expect me to get back to Sims playing… in a decade or two?

Nah, I’ll be back before then. Probably.

I knew it. I KNEW IT. See, the last sim born into the legacy with skin that could be called something other than pale was Magnesium, who had Reaper skin. Mags was not going to exist but for the fact that Theo died, leaving room open for one more baby.

Calcium, who is brave and smart and also purple, was made possible by Sodium’s death, which opened a spot in the house. COINCIDENCE?!? Probably.

Basically, with the exception of Mags and Calcium, my legacy fits the song White and Nerdy to a T. Speaking of which, there’s an 8track thing now for the legacy. *pokes*

Sulfur went on a field trip to the most popular trip destination, the graveyard, and brought back a gnome. His name is Mr. Gnome because I couldn’t be bothered to name him.

But we want to see Calcium, right?

Calcium also has white hair and purple eyes. She’s a brave genius.

Calcium: Are we even bothering with an heir poll? Because I ALSO have an imaginary friend, and they have unique genetics.

I couldn’t think of a good name, so this is Cal, named after Lil Cal from Homestuck. I warn you that he is creepy so don’t click the link if you don’t like puppets or anything like that. If Cal and Calcium end up as a thing, their shipping name can be Cal Squared.

Phosphorus wanted to teach Calcium to talk AND walk, so here she is actually spending time with one of her children.

Phosphorus: And what does the mouse say?

Calcium: Click click!

Phosphorus: Very good!

Phosphorus: Can you say ‘mommy is an author’?

Calcium: Mommy writes filthy smut!

Phosphorus: Now can you say…

Calcium: I see dead people.

This is like the first drink that didn’t have stink fumes coming out of it, and Merlot was mixing his own drinks rather than following a recipe at this point.

Merlot’s first custom drink is called ‘Woohoo Time’ because it’s a romantic drink.

Phosphorus: *rolls want for another baby*

NO.

And it’s time for Chlorine to enter teenhood, just in time to go to prom.

Chlorine: People already think I look masculine as a child, so I’ll be a stud when I’m a teen!

Chlorine: Am I a stud? Y/Y?

I don’t know, but his eyes look wonderful… I could drown in them.

Phosphorus: So I taught Calcium that mice go click rather than squeak, because really, at this point, she’s more likely to see a computer than EVER see a mouse. Don’t you agree?

Chlorine: I think that, just because our family is based in science, we shouldn’t focus only on our minds. We need to better our bodies as well.

Chlorine got athletic for his teen trait.

Phosphorus: Don’t worry, Chlo. Your father and I work out together all the time.

Chlorine: Did not need to know that.

FEEL THE BURN.

Mr. Gnome: OH NO! A meteor!

Thanks for making a mockery of our founders’ graves, Gnome. I appreciate it.

Phosphorus: And mommy wants another baby, but the voice says no…

Calcium: No way are you having another kid and jeopardizing my winning the heir poll.

Because we haven’t see much of the girls yet.

Argon: The voices tell me that our bus driver is a serial killer.

Kay: When I get the chance to learn martial arts, I’m breaking your stupid voice-filled skull.

They brought in a ‘statue of a molecule’ from the science lab, which is a perfect centerpiece to the table.

Except I think it looks more like an atom than a molecule. Still cool though.

Kay: Off to prom? Don’t get arrested.

Argon: Oh dear.

Sulfur: I just hope my prom picture turns out awesome!

Sulfur in her formal outfit that doesn’t look all that formal.

Sulfur: Ice hired a limo!

Where is Ice?

Ice: Can’t get in a car with Sulfur. You never know what could happen when boys and girls are in cars together. Babies could happen.

Cute prom pictures. Mostly Sulfur’s, though.

Chlorine doesn’t have a date because he didn’t even technically attend high school yet.

Argon: The scary voices tell me that we should play hopscotch to endear the readers.

Kay: I swear I’m going to kill you.

Argon: No, voices! Kay is my FRIEND. My FRIEND.

Kay: Whatever, I’m going to play hopscotch.

Kay: HOPSCOTCH CHAMPION.

Seriously, she jumped across and back twice and automatically won. Argon never even got a chance to try.

They better be talking about the non-woohoo type of seeds.

Calcium (offscreen): Technically, all seeds are related to ‘woohoo’ because they are the stationary sex cells, and pollen is the motile sex cell, much like…

Kay: Shut up, Calcium. It’s our turn right now.

Argon: I’m tired.

Kay: Okay, let’s go to bed. I think we’ve done enough for tonight, and we’re having a slumber party probably next chapter, anyway.

I can’t believe Phosphorus spent, like, a whole day with one of her children. Remarkable.

Let’s see how prom went, shall we?

Sulfur: I won prom queen, Ice asked me to be his girlfriend, and he gave me my first kiss after I convinced him my lip gloss was a 100% efficient contraceptive.

Chlorine: I met a cute girl at prom, and we hit it off. I think I love her.

And? Her name is?

Chlorine: Snow Frosty.

Otherwise known as Ice’s SISTER, so Sulfur’s brother might end up dating her boyfriend’s sister, and things could get interesting.

So last time there were twins, and now they’re bald because I cleared out some CC, but they’ll be aging up soon anyway so I’m not going to bother with that right now.

Phosphorus has finished both portraits of herself and Merlot. I’m not going to hold myself to portraits of Binky and Sodium because I DID have them in the other game.

Remember how I kept the backup to retrieve the portraits when I got Pets again? Well, in my INFINITE wisdom, I left the backup save in with the other save files of the game. And apparently named one of my save files the SAME THING so the game replaced it with the NEW backup…

Sodium’s back! Just in time for a triple birthday extravaganza.

Phosphorus: OMG! It’s Sodium Mendeleev! I’m your biggest fan!

First up is Sulfur. Her newest trait is Good Sense of Humor. I don’t know why I decided to give her that hat. I just did.

Argon is now a coward. And pissed about the dirty toilet.

Equally pissed is Kay, who is now hot-headed, and not happy about Chlorine stealing the spotlight with his sick moves.

Here’s Phosphorus writing another one of her trashy novels. This one is called Subtle Satin Sheets.

But shouldn’t you be cleaning the disgusting toilet, dear?

Phosphorus: Maid service is on it.

I see.

Merlot: Sulfur, I think we need to spend some more time together. Help me practice making drinks?

Sulfur: Dad, I’m not of legal drinking age.

Sulfur: And there are stink fumes coming out of it.

This went… exactly as expected.

Merlot: Would you like to sample some of my drinks?

Phosphorus: I really shouldn’t.

Merlot: Because…

Phosphorus: There are still stink fumes coming out of the drinks.

That went… exactly as expected. Again.

After losing her lunch, Phosphorus tries to bond with her two eldest children.

Phosphorus: Don’t bother with schoolwork, Chlorine! All you need to do to succeed is be a super stud and the girls will flock to you.

Sulfur: What’s with this writing trashy novels and mixing juice? That’s not what this legacy was founded on! We need to get back to our roots!

MERLOT. It is two in the morning and we can’t zap away ‘exhausted’ moodlets for the younger kids yet. Stop telling her a scary story and let her go to bed.

Discovered that the twins both have the imaginary friend trait.

Argon: Why can I turn into this? The only explanation is radiation poisoning! I’m going to DIE.

They’re identical imaginary twins.

Like I had when I was five. Their names were Nancy and Nancy.

Trashy novelist Phosphorus decided to write a children’s novel.

Phosphorus: Hey, I know plenty about kids! I have three of my own!

You have four.

Phosphorus: I know how many kids I have!

Binky got a police car! This brings back memories of the good old days with Zhan.

And Sulfur comes home with another surprise in the form of Ice Some-sort-of-frozen-treat-for-a-last-name.

Sulfur flirts with him and he’s pretty accepting of all of her flirts.

Sulfur: Kiss?

Ice: LOLNOPE

Sulfur: Wanna go to prom with me?

Ice: Sure. You’re soooo dreamy, Sulfur. Of course I’ll go.

*Note: He seriously called her dreamy*

Sulfur: Why won’t you kiss me if I’m dreamy?

Ice: I don’t want to get you pregnant, Sulfur. I’m not that kind of guy.

Sulfur: That’s not how that works…

Ice: My family said that some people might say that to trick us into thinking we’re safe. But I know the truth about kissing.

-_- Maybe they’ll kiss at prom? Anyway, that was the end of this chapter. And we are FINALLY done with diapers and cribs for this generation!

Or not.

First off, DAMMIT CHLORINE. Why you have to be so masculine? They know!

Yeah, Chlorine is a boy. Even though it ends in an –een sound and is more of a girl’s name.

I got MasterController again and it’s working good so I fixed up the baby blankets. The green one is Argon… maybe… and the blue one is Potassium.

Chlorine: Grandma died!

Sulfur: Can I wash the dishes or are you just going to stand there?

Chlorine: But she was practically the only person who ever took care of me!

Sulfur: Dishes not getting any cleaner here. : /

The kids are sent to the park to be not-miserable, but I forgot they were exhausted from the whole ‘grandma dying in the middle of the night’ thing. So I checked things out while they napped.

There are pigeons in the park, and also a shark in the pond. It excited me.

Then Chlorine woke up and played on the park stuff for a while before going home.

The park is inside a giant dome, by the way, and it’s awesome.

Then it is time to age up the twins. I was hoping hoping HOPING that Binky wasn’t going to die while this happened

.

I remember this is DEFINITELY Argon. She has white hair, and also these weird eyes that come from I don’t know where. Merlot has dark purple and Phosphorus has dark blue, but Argon’s eyes are lighter.

Potassium, who will henceforth be known as ‘Kay’ (Did I say that already? If so, I’m saying it again.), got the purple hair, which was super exciting. Since all the other kids have white hair.

Argon in her crib after her makeover. I decided the twins would match because it saves me the time of making a separate outfit for each of them.

See? Matchy matchy.

I took out my painting replacement mod when I put in Master Controller, just in case the new mod lagged the game too much or something. And… the game actually runs a lot smoother now. A LOT. I guess because the file for replacing paintings is HUGE or something like that?

Phosphorus and Merlot continue to basically ignore their kids, in favor of paying attention to each other.

If they’d gotten there a couple minutes earlier, Ellie would have been there and it would have been awkward. XD

Kay: I’m not even tired, grampa!

Binky: But I am. Go to bed.

I can’t even be mad at him because he is the only reason that all four children haven’t starved yet. What am I going to do without him?

Since Mom and Dad aren’t paying attention to them and Binky will most likely spend the rest of his life in the twins’ room, Sulfur and Chlorine play some chess together. That way they can skill and I can pretend I’m giving them bonding time out of the goodness of my shriveled heart.

This is also the time that I learned you can even put things on top of the tall wardrobes. Or this one, anyway. Cool.

Sulfur: Let’s talk about death while we play chess!

Chlorine: Okay!

They get hungry and have salad together, where they continue the conversation.

Chlorine: Do you think I, like, caused grandma’s death or something?

Sulfur: Probably.

Phosphorus finished her first portrait and looks all wavery and stuff, but it’s her business if she wants her portrait to look bad. I just hope she stocked up on some purple paint.

Meanwhile, Merlot is still making drinks. We need to own a bar too, right? I think I might make a Mendeleev Memorial bar, which would be just like the museum but more happenin’

Chlorine tries to kill himself…

I could make a joke about the water being chlorinated but… actually, I just did.

Kay impales her face on the dollhouse.

Then shoved her whole body in. This is the non-insane one, let me remind you. Argon is mostly stuck in her crib, but I feel like she’ll be fun to watch once she breaks free of her prison.

Sulfur discovered how to make hair dye, apparently.

And I discovered that kids sleeping on the ground isn’t just a fail thing. You can click on the sleepy moodlet and the toddlers can just fall asleep wherever. Coolie oolies.

And that’s the last picture I have. Next time we’ll see if Binky continues to take care of the kids, I guess?

Actually, I suppose someone might be on vacation or something and only have a chance to read this after I’m home. And people might start reading the legacy and get to this Generation later…

So as you read this, it is possible that I am in Jamaica.

I discovered that you don’t need a sandbox to play in the sand. Because the house is surrounded by moon sand and the ‘play in the sand’ option came up when I told Sulfur to go outside.

Chlorine is a cute little b… g… individual. White hair and purple eyes, just like Sulfur. I hope they don’t turn out to be clones.

Merlot is working on his mixology skill, but he’s not very good at it. When he’s not horrified by how it tastes, he’s actively spitting it across the bar.

*crash*

Sulfur: Dad, I’m trying to do my homework.

The Sulfur goes to bed and dreams about being strong.

The next day, the school has a field trip! And where are they going? Somewhere fun? The police station? The science lab?

The cemetery, of course. This mausoleum even has the shelves where the bodies are stored on the inside.

My computer is no longer taking screenshots, but Sulfur got the pop up where the teacher yells at her to put down the skull.

Okay, enough death! Time for adorableness!

Chlorine: OMG!

I love these kids. I really do.

Sulfur got hungry after playing with her sibling, so I sent her to make some muffins with her little toy oven.

Sulfur: OMIGOSH I DIDN’T BURN IT!!! YAY!!!

Aw, what an adorable little excitable sim…

Sulfur: I want to see a ghost.

O… kay.

Merlot’s asleep but I figure that the rest of the family can have a cute little meal together. And by ‘the rest of the family’ I really mean Phosphorus and Sulfur, because Phosphorus needs to spend more time with her kids.

Binky: Sulfur, dear, you’re a wonderful cook. Just keep this up and roll a cooking LTW and you’ll be great as a legacy sim.

Sodium: Wrong! She’s not going into the culinary career. She’s going into painting. The family will need someone to do the portraits.

Sulfur: Um… I’m going to go now…

Phosphorus: Mom, all she really needs to do for the legacy is pop out kids.

Sodium: We still need portraits dear.

That night, Sulfur sees a ghost. So… good for her.

And Phosphorus goes into labor.

Phosphorus: Anyone taking me to the hospital? No? Okay, I’ll go myself.

Um… wanna take a taxi?

Phosphorus: No. Subway’s cheaper.

They’re both free.

Phosphorus gave birth to twin girls Argon and Potassium.

That’s Potassium being impaled on the baby basket.

Phosphorus: It’s how I was brought home.

Phosphorus does not seem very happy about the birth of her daughters.

This one is… Argon? It’s not like it matters at this point. I can’t recolor the blankets because I don’t have the mods to do things like that any more. Argon is Friendly and… Insane! I’m surprised we’ve gotten this far into the Generation 6 kids before we got the Genius or Insane traits.

I remember that this IF is named Mimivirus, though. You can tell what we’re learning about in Biology by what I name the IFs. XD

And if the first one is Argon, this is probably Potassium. Potassium is disciplined and friendly. Her IF… or, at least, this IF… is named Ebola.

Because it looks like Mickey Mouse.

Despite the frown on her face when the girls were born, Phosphorus immediately rolled wants to snuggle both of them.

Phosphorus: What? I’m a good mom! I don’t ignore my kids!

*facepalm*

Sodium and Binky are so used to taking care of the crying babies themselves that they don’t know what to do when Phosphorus gets there first.

One last picture of the adorableness, because the game says it’s almost time for Chlorine’s birthday!

Phosphorus: I’m interacting with all the kids this chapter! I’m on a roll!

Chlorine: I’m gonna be a big bo… gi… person!

Sodium: Time to scar the kids for life!

Sodium! Noooo! This isn’t The Cult of Personality!

Binky: I’m torn between being happy about Chlorine’s birthday and sad about my wife’s death!

And Death has to go out of his way to scar the other two?

Death: I wanted to see my great-granddaughters.

Right. He’s part of the family. This is so messed up.

Sodium: Binky, relax! Spaghetti Monster help me, I’m just going to chill with my dad!

Death: My, Sodium. What a lovely family you have.

Because of crashes, she got the worst urn.

Rest in peace, Sodium Mendeleev. Daughter of Death, mother of three children and grandmother of four. She is in a better place, in Flying Spaghetti Monster Heaven.

Death: And Phosphorus, you’ve got kids now. They’re precious.

Sulfur: Mommy, what’s going on?

Phosphorus: Death is your great-granddad. Try to keep up.

Sad-looking kids are sad-looking.

CHLORINE. W. T. F.

Phosphorus goes to paint and ends up making this. And that just made me more sad, so that was when I stopped playing. Therefore, that is where this chapter stops.

It was the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring (we don’t have a mouse)

The stockings were hung by the TV with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

The child was nestled all up in her bed,
While visions of space-men danced in her head.

And Phosphorus…

Aw, come on guys! It’s Christmas Eve!

Phosphorus: Just… go on with your cute little rhyming thing, okay? Me and Merlot need some time alone.

Then I’ll continue this chapter on my own.

And Chlorine was there with a crib for a bed,
With the new patch, there was no dent in the head.

“It’s Christmas! It’s Christmas! This is the BEST!”
Shouted Sulfur after her night’s rest.

Then Phosphorus chose her new wardrobe with care,
Her third costume change since becoming the heir.

One outfit in particular (the boots made it complete)
Was a surprise for Merlot, a Christmas treat.

To celebrate Christmas, Sodium was not ready,
She’d rather celebrate the Flying Monster of Spaghetti.

Instead of Noel, she thought she’d spend her
Time with the child of indeterminate gender.

On the way home, (for there was school that day)
Sulfur thought of new toys with which she would play

The panda and unicorn were both in their stations,
Unfortunately, they’re only decorations.

A new periscope, given to Sulfur
To look past the censor blur.

But the most impressive was the house in the tree!
”OMIGOSH IS THAT FOR ME???!!!”

“This tree house is awesome, but not new I fear,
For my sensors detect Mom and Dad were up here!”

It’s soon clear that a little nooboo
Is the outcome of the treehouse woohoo.

How can I tell? We all know that vom
Is the surest sign of becoming a mom.

Phosphorus finishes the book He In Purple,
And… um… the critics say it will be a durple.

“Durple? The hell? That’s not even a word!”
Accuse me of cheating? Don’t’ be absurd.

And Ellie said, when she showed up that night,
”Happy Christmas to all, and to all SCIENCE!”

Binky: Sulfur, you’re in a science-type legacy, so it’s time you learn a bit of what’s expected of you.

Sulfur: ‘Kay Grampa!

Binky: Now, if you ever get in trouble for having some ‘fun time’ with someone you’re rightfully married to, you have to sue them for all they’re worth.

Sulfur: Sue!

Sodium: You can usually win when you sue them, but if the paparazzi have photographic evidence, you’re screwed. Damn paparazzi.

Sulfur: Photos! Damn!

Sodium: Let’s talk about marriage.

Sulfur: Not want!

These waffles were in the oven while Sodium was teaching Sulfur how to talk. And they’re not even burnt when she finally gets around to them.

Sodium: Mad skills, man.

This is what you would see if you were teaching Sulfur how to walk.

This is honestly the first time Phosphorus has even interacted with her daughter since giving birth to her.

Phosphorus: Come to mommy… I guess.

Sulfur: MAMA!

Phosphorus: She’s just so… happy…

Most babies are, dear.

Phosphorus: Not me. I was born grumpy.

Phosphorus: I’ve interacted with the kid. Now back to my husband.

Phosphorus: Cool, I’m going to be a mother.

You are a mother.

Phosphorus: Oh yeah.

Now it’s time for Sulfur to become a child. Maybe then Phosphorus won’t neglect her so much.

Sulfur: I wish to be adorable forever!

I want to hug her so much. Kid faces always look weird to me in the game, but she’s unique-looking! Sulfur is now clumsy.

Sulfur: Mommy I can’t wait to have a baby brother or sister and love them and play with them and we can be best friends can’t we Mommy I love you so much!!!

Phosphorus: Sure… how about I read you a story so you can fall asleep. And stop being happy at me.

Sulfur: Attention from Mommy it’s the BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!

PHOSPHORUS.

Phosphorus: And then the beautiful white-haired lady approached the handsome purple stranger…

Phosphorus: Relax. She fell asleep before I got to the dirty bit.

That’s not the point!

Speaking of the purple stranger, he has the mixology LTW because I didn’t feel like working on charisma, and I’ve never actually done mixology.

Phosphorus: Having the baby now!

Sulfur: Baby brother or sister? BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!

Phosphorus: Go to bed, kid!

This is baby Chlorine, who’s gender will remain a mystery. Because I said so. And because the game conveniently gave her/him a white blanket.

Sulfur: Painting a picture for Chlorine! It’s a blood-splatter heart!!!

Skewed perception of what the ‘good’ trait actually means.

I’ve been saving this chapter and the next one until I knew this, because family-with-baby would be easier to rebuild than family-with-toddler, since no one could say I got the face wrong. So this chapter and the next are before the big CC purge, although I don’t think anything was lost except for Phosphorus’s dress and two of the hot tubs. :/

Without further ado…

Feels fitting to start out another chapter in the bathroom, this time to comment on the fact that Merlot is bald when he takes a bath. XD Er… shaved. Same difference.

Anyway, guess who forgot about the moodlet manager after the move! I just remembered it now.

Phosphorous is on her… second?… book at this point. Her first one is called He Knew It Was Wrong because it was what the game came up with. Then the game came up with the same title for the second one, so I decided the book she’s working on now is a sequel.

Sulfur got an imaginary friend. His name is Calvin because we’re learning about photosynthesis in Biology right now.

A display to show all of the space rocks that have been found. Because why not?

Sodium: What’s this button do?

What button?

Sodium: This button.

The case ate our stones and spit out a normal old space rock that was really nothing special.

Sulfur: Derp!

Also it’s Sulfur’s birthday! She’s got the white hair, so I guess it’s not skipping generations this time. She has her dad’s purple eyes, though.

Sulfur: You think I’m cute?

Sulfur: You ain’t seen nothing yet!

So freaking adorable!

Even when she’s sad.

Sodium: Wanna try for a cute baby like that?

Binky: You can’t get pregnant, dear.

Sodium: It would still be fun…

Meanwhile:

Phosphorus: I drank about everything stocked in the bar and now my foot is talking to me. Get in here.

It took forever, but they finally managed to cuddle together. One of them would keep getting out, or they’d insist on sitting on the opposite sides of the hot tub.

Phosphorus: I forgot we needed to breathe!

Merlot: Did you hear a lullaby?

Sulfur: Here, you’re ugly, so I’ll cover your face! Now no one will have to see!

Sulfur: Now for CPR!

I’ve played a bit ahead and, although Sulfur has the good trait, I can’t help but feel she has a skewed perception of ‘good’.

Nitrogen: Yeah! High score baby!

Zhan: Ew, it’s my granddaughter!

Nitrogen: Get out of here, Grandpa. I’m tired of this!

Ellie: Ew, it’s my husband.

Zhan: Don’t be like that, dear…

Ellie: Why don’t you just go cheat on me? You were so good at that when you were alive.

Zhan: But all of the women here are from my direct bloodline.

Phosphorus: Your legacy is in good hands. I have a hot husband over in the other room.

Ellie: You have a daughter too, right?

Phosphorus: Oh… yeah, her. That kid lives here too.

Ellie: Well, just keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn’t cheat on you.

Phosphorus: It’s all good, Great-Grandma Ellie. If he crosses me I will

Send him to hell.

Phosphorus: I’m going to criticize your family now. Your family sucks!

Zhan: We’re directly related…

Which is the only reason he’s not hitting on her right now!

Also, look at this!!!

Yum… This is the legacy’s “We’re Not Dead Yet” Cake.